A Cautionary Tale of Boyfriends, Boy Friends, and Cellphones

August 21, 2013

I am pretty sure there were more than one expletive blurted from my mouth a few weeks ago…
Along the lines of:


That is generally what happens with your boy friend, texts your boyfriend while you unknowingly sit giggling at your boy friends side.

No, I don’t guard my cell phone
No, It did not have a passcode or lock (but it sure does now!)

I bear a small burden of guilt.
I know better than to have close guy friends.  It always bites me in the butt.
I know better to complain about anything to my friends, family, or otherwise about a significant other.
I now know better than to haphazardly turn my phone over to ANYONE!

The Cliff Notes version of the day goes something like this:
I suspected boyfriend had lied to me about something stupid.  I learned my lesson the hard way before, if they lie to you about little stuff, then they will lie to you about much bigger things.
I pulled the typical girl stunt of whining to boy friend about boyfriend, oh and I will admit it wasn’t the first time.

I will also admit, I was pretty sure that boy friend had been crushing on me.  No, I am not full of myself… He had said things casually about “taking me off the market”.  We had been friends for quite a while and rekindled our friendship after I split from my husband.  He is a college grad, great job, good looking, and athletic.  He was totally my type, but he had just crossed over into friend territory.  I should have seen it coming but instead I was blindsided.

I noticed the last few weeks he had been a lil more defensive than usual.
“Why don’t you just dump him?”
“You know you deserve better?”

I think the tension was building because my relationship had lasted longer than he or I had thought.

I totally crushed on boyfriend.  He was everything I imagined I would not want.
Honestly, he wasn’t the first guy you would spot in a bar, but he was the guy you wanted to spend your night there talking to.  He was quiet and much less opinionated than myself.  He wasn’t a doctor, a lawyer, or any other “noble profession, but he was well educated and he loved his job.  There was something about the way he wrapped his arms around me, I felt safe and at peace.  Those were feelings I hadn’t experienced in a long time.  He was adorable, charming, and he loved his dog.  I liked him.

I knew that guys like him were dangerous.  They sneak up on you unexpectedly, and they can easily break your heart.

I have a bad text habit.  I blurt out things completely uncensored.  When I am mad, angry, or upset I have taught myself to do one of two things, either give my phone to a friend or to turn it off and put it away.  The same rules apply for drunk texting…

I chose to give my phone to boy friend.  I threw my phone into his lap and said here take it, don’t let me talk to him today.  I am pretty sure, I didn’t say, “hey, text him in an attempt to ruin my relationship”.

I won’t lie.  I have randomly sent prank texts from my friend’s phones, but I have a hard time believing this was just a prank.  I want to believe the best, but I always fear the worst.

I am in between tears and laughter for several hours.  I was trying so hard to convince myself that boyfriend wasn’t lying, and doing anything to occupy my time.  Boy friends phone was charging, and he was “playing” around on mine.  If I had only known what he was playing…

I know bits and pieces of their conversation.  It was a small fraction of the dozens of texts sent.
It was so ugly that I don’t want to know more.  I’m not sure how two people I cared about could act and react that way.  It turned into a….

He said.
He said.
She said.
They said.
Who said.
What said.

In the end I just wanted to strangle the both of them.

If boy friend really cared, he wouldn’t have done that.  You don’t hurt the people you care for.
Boyfriend didn’t bat an eye believing I had something to do with that, really after two months?  It was heartbreaking to find that he thought so little of me.  From what I gather, you two scuffled like boys in a school yard via text message, and you still couldn’t figure out you weren’t talking to me?

C’est la vie…

It is another life lesson for me.  

Like usual, I am left to deal with the fallout.  Weeks later, I occasionally scratch my head and wonder WTF happened?

For now I have:
Ditched having close guy friends.
Put a passcode on my cellphone.
Regained my general distrust for everyone.

All because my boy friend texted my boyfriend from my cellphone.

Did I mention I hate dating? lol

Happy Wordy Wednesday.. or maybe Wacky Wednesday


2 comments on “A Cautionary Tale of Boyfriends, Boy Friends, and Cellphones”

  1. Oh isn’t dating just fantastic? I love being back out there again!! It’s so amazing!!!

    Please sense the sarcasm. 😉

    I’m sorry that happened to you, and sorry that 2 men important to you acted that way. How foolish and childish. But good move with the passcode, I had to do it too. Big hugs girl!! xo

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