She’s Dating Who? The Perils of Dating in a Small Town

September 9, 2013

Title gotcha didn’t it? 😉 Who am I dating? Inquiring minds would like to know. Well you can keep guessing, I like to keep my beaus anonymous.
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We all know I rarely get what I WANT. I was very hesitant to date anyone from back home for many reasons, one of which is it is impossible to date anyone in a small town without everyone knowing. Local dating has brought a lot of people together and will continue to be big because it makes it so easy to find someone for you. But it can sometimes end up slightly embarrassing! Lexington is a mid-size city. It was much easy to date someone without the “entire world” knowing or caring who I dated. Barbourville offers no such luxury. My hometown is the size of a shoebox. If you actively read my blog, I am not exactly a private person. I have NO privacy here.

I was absolutely mortified the first time my grandmother and I ran into someone we knew. The first question is generally disguised as a statement, “I didn’t know you were back home?”. We all know that is code for, “What are you doing here?” My grandmother didn’t think twice about blurting out, she is getting a divorce rather loudly in the local Wal-Mart. I was like “Nice one Grandma, shouldn’t you search family law Jacksonville before announcing this news to the entire community in Walmart?”

Have you ever watched Sandra Bullock in the movie Hope Floats? I feel like Birdee. My marriage publicly fell apart, and I was partially responsible for the publicity. Birdee ran home to find herself, and to provide a stable life for her daughter. Gabe loves our life here. He loves seeing his great grandparents every day. He is happy, and that is all that matters to me. I am thankful that he is no Bernice. I am not adjusting quite as well. I get the occasional curious stare, people trying to figure out who I am or if it is me.

I have been gone for years, but my desire was to leave forever. I didn’t just walk away from my hometown, I ran. I have very few ties here outside my immediate family.
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I have very few local friends. My goal was to keep my head down, get my divorce settled, and enjoy my “layover”. Getting a divorce was actually more straightforward than I originally thought. We had to divide marital property equitably with the help of some divorce lawyers, and then we were legally separated. The divorce was easier than I thought, and I do feel much better now. However, I’m back in my hometown and now I’m ready to try and improve my life.

I told myself repeatedly that it wasn’t a good idea to date local guys. Dating someone in a very small town can create issues that “city folk” never dream about. You routinely run into an “ex”, your beau’s “ex”, or family of either which awkward doesn’t begin to describe. I figured I would continue to date guys in Lexington, since the extent of my dating was limited to the every other weekend Gabe went to his dad’s. Plans were meant to be broken right?

I reluctantly agreed to a date with someone from my past. My hesitance had more to do with our hometown, and not my actual date. There are very few restaurants to choose from, even when you drive to a nearby city. He bumped into several people on that date. The funniest involved an older couple. They knew my date quite well, and the wife was quite disturbed that she didn’t know who I was. I walked to the bathroom, and she starred at me the entire time. I giggled when I caught her peeking around trying to figure out who his “mystery date” was. She wasn’t being rude. I know this is typical small town behavior. I just preferred to know who I was dating before everyone else did, and you will probably have to be from a small town to understand what I meant by that phrase.

I’m still not telling who my dates were with, a lady should never kiss and tell.

Happy Maladjusted Monday

2 comments on “She’s Dating Who? The Perils of Dating in a Small Town”

  1. Sweet thing … nearly called you earlier. Went on a date with a guy, first in ages because I just don’t have it in me … he wanted to go to another restaurant for dinner after we met a for drink, he wanted me to follow his car. I drove home. Do the math 😉

    1. I think dating is fun. I like the excitement. I wish we lived closer, I would be dragging you out on the dating scene. Sorry your date didn’t go well. Please call me, I miss you!

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