It has been a rough few days. This past Monday marked the 5 year anniversary of my brother Brandon’s death. I cry sporadicly throughout the day. I honestly thought I was coping better, but I guess I was just holding it all in. Last night, I found a box of photos and I sobbed.

We took my son fishing on Memorial Day. Gabriel is just 4, and we are teaching him to cast his own rod. My brother Brandon loved fishing, and I hated it. I have dozens of childhood memories about fishing with Brandon. I have grown to enjoy fishing (well truthfully I just tolerate it better). Fishing reminds me of him, and I am sure he is watching over me (laughing hysterically at my poor fishing skills).

Gabe learning to cast with a bobber and weight.

Great fishing attire? lol

Gabe loves to fish, or at least he loves the idea of fishing. I finally purchased his first real rod and reel set. Jeremy attached a weight and a bobber, and he practices casting into the pond. His next lesson will be with worms (ewww!). When he is comfortable using a worm, he will advance to having his own hook. There is a pond on the farm which makes it easier for him to practice.

I wish Brandon was here to help teach Gabe, he would have loved his nephews. I was just a few weeks pregnant with Gabe when Brandon died, and he didn’t know he  was going to be an uncle.

Gabe and I go fishing for fish, but we also go fishing for memories. We are making new memories together, but I also get to recall memories from my childhood. I remember a freckle faced little brother who liked to chase his sister with his catch of the day.

Does it really get easier? How did you cope with losing someone you love? Do you participate in activities as a way to remember them?

Gabe and Jeremy reeling in a fish last fall